


Words

by BranHowe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Netflix Without Chill, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, lol, tv lounging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 15:12:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18741583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BranHowe/pseuds/BranHowe
Summary: Jack wants to understand what his feelings for Dean are called.





	Words

At first, Jack didn't know the words but he knew that, for him, Dean was special. 

He didn't know Dean was ‘cool’ or ‘awesome’ but he knew he wanted to emulate him somehow since the very first time he saw him. Even when he remembered Dean’s first honestly aggressive words towards him with a tinge of pain.

Talking with Sam about Dean somehow made his situation worse. Despite all the fights, Sam looked up to his brother so much it was hard not to notice he was a little biased about him. Words like ‘stubborn’, ‘absolute idiot’ and ‘jerk’ were pronounced with so much fondness that Jack ended up believing he might have misunderstood the original terms at first. Later on Castiel had finally explained him about the nuances of pronunciation and how he probably should listen more to the tones they used rather than the words. 

“It took me a long time to understand that.” Was all he explained to the kid. 

Castiel himself had more particular words for Dean. ‘Brave’, ‘stupid’, and ‘eventually vulgar’ easily came to him along with ‘insufferable’ and ‘the best man I have ever met’. Jack couldn't blame his father for such a display of vocabulary, he also clearly saw that there was a lot in Dean he couldn't find with anyone else. Both good and bad.

Spending time with Dean made him realize he was ‘grateful’ and ‘fond’ towards the man but also that those words were not enough, specially after he almost died. It took him several movies and books and situations to understand that what he felt was something more basic, more dense, different than what he felt for Sam and Castiel. 

Still he was unsure on what exactly the word he was looking for was.

Jack was looking at him from the other side of the couch Dean had bought to fit them all now that the family had grown. Only the two of them since his dads were out.

“What's wrong kid? You don't like the movie I chose?”

“No, no it's not that, I…”

It suddenly fell on him, had he ever conveyed his feelings to the man before? Was Dean truly aware about the difference between what he felt towards Sam and Castiel and him? No, obviously not, he had to do something to fix that and there was only one word available in his repertoire that could somehow convey his feelings towards him right now.

“I love you Dean. Thank you for being by my side all this time, teaching me so much.” 

A moment of silence, a pair of surprised eyes and a small blush, almost imperceptible to any other.

“Don't sweat it kid. It's the least I can do, I haven't been the best all the time.” a small gesture of his hand to wave off Jack's sincere words.

Jack went forward and threw himself at Dean's arms in a warm hug. It was easy for Jack to invade what Dean considered his personal space. Unlike him, Jack needed proximity, Dean knew that very well. That was what held him back against his first impulse of running away from such intimacy and despite being flustered he allowed the kid to stay like that and held him back with a chuckle. 

“Wow, you alright kid? You're not dying on us again right?”

“I'm not.”

Came the muffled answer against his rumpled flannel.

“I love you.”

Dean noticed Jack's grasp tighten on him, like it was going to be hard to let go. He also understood there was something different about this embrace but didn't want to acknowledge it at all. Jack was his kid after all. He held Jack back a bit tighter as well and kissed his forehead softly while brushing his hair with his hand.

“I love you too kid.”

Jack sensed it, the calculated softness of someone who's walking on thin ice. The fear of breaking a spell too complicated to build back. It was painful, the rejection he felt from Dean out of love. Still he wasn't going to give in so easily. Jack turned towards the hunter puppy eyed.

“Can we stay like this until the movie ends?”

A gulp, breath stopping for a moment while both stared at each other.

“Sure, if that's what you want.”

Jack dropped his head on the hunter's chest ready to watch the tv for the rest of the evening like that.

“This is what I want, this is what I'll always want.”

There was quiet in the room, or as much as you can get with a tv going on but for Jack it was good. He was unsure if he was ever going to convey his feelings well enough or get an answer from Dean but as long as he could have this, he could wait until he found better words.


End file.
